Dealing With Unrequited Love


Looking at this from a purely practical point of view, unrequited love can be an awful waste of time. You tend to wander around in a daze, thinking about how wonderful it would be, how your life would be complete, if only you could enjoy a loving relationship with them.
To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. 

Writing about your feelings can be a really great personal exercise in dealing with unrequited love. It's a way for you to expunge some of your frustrations and negative emotions, and also a way to organize them. Flushing out your true feelings in writing can help legitimize them, or maybe reveal to you that there isn't as much substance to them as you had thought.

No matter what, you are going to feel disappointed by the way those things turned out. That's to be expected and I don't think it is anything that you can really avoid. However, you do want to keep yourself busy so that you don't dwell on the disappointment. 

Accept your feelings for him/her but also accept the fact that this is never going to work.  Someone who leaves you does not love you, truly love you.  This is a fact you need to embrace.  No matter what they say, if they really loved you they would be running to couples therapy until things got truly better.  This is the hard truth.

Your world may have revolved around them for the longest time, but not anymore. You have to set aside everything about them, and the best way is through diversions. Watch a movie with your friends, or go to a vacation. Have some bonding time with your family. Catch up on some reading. There's a whole lot more to do than just crying over unreturned feelings.

Of course, you have a future and it's important to move on. Remember you are a promising individual and for whatever it was worth, you still have life ahead of you. Get the negative feeling out of you. The more you dwell on them, the more stressed you become. Stress gives rise to physical ailments such as hypertension. So it all starts with a single happy thought. The blame game is over. Start making a future for yourself, without someone else.

Time really does heal all wounds for the most part. How much time? Well, it really comes down to this. The longer it takes, the more you were truly in love. If you get over it in a month or two and you are already dating, then it probably wasn't love anyway.

Get out and get involved in interest groups and meet new people. You may meet someone at some group that interests you both so that you have something in common to begin with, and begin dating them. You may realize that the love you felt for that other person was not really a true love but more a desire to get to know them, and that you have now found someone who you can really love.

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