Tips for A More Intimate Relationship

There are many things you can do to manifest an amazing intimate relationship, yet one of the fastest and most effective methods is keeping your attention on what you LIKE about the person, instead of what you DON'T like.
Intimacy does not imply a sexual overtone. You can have intimate relationships with your children, parents, friends of the same and opposite sex, even fellow employees. Intimacy implies: trust, respect, acceptance, comfort, a spiritual connection, open communication, a lack of personal agendas and a controlled ego. Or, you can have a relationship with any of the above people lacking any or all of the above characteristics.

Talk things out together. Let your partner know what you are thinking and feeling. What it is you want out of life and things you would like to do. Remember that your partner can't read your mind. They can only give you what you need in the relationship if you communicate.

Feeling emotionally safe and close to your spouse/partner is one of the hallmarks of a healthy marriage/relationship. Think of emotional intimacy (a sense of togetherness, of having a strong emotional bond) as the glue that holds your relationship together, through the good times and the stressful times.

There are no real expectations or open relationship rules in this situation. You may see each other regularly or not, have intimacy or not, date other people or not. One might even argue that this type of arrangement is not a relationship at all; however, it is what works for some people who desire companionship and/or intimacy without any obligations.

Open communication, vulnerability, transparency and reciprocity are required to realize intimacy. It requires letting our partner into our hearts and our minds. Since we all have thoughts and feelings we don't even accept in ourselves, it seems like quite a stretch to share many of these shameful ideas with others.

Once you identify your habit of 'hiding' as described above, try to notice it whenever possible and make a conscious effort to decide whether or not you should continue with that 'hiding' attitude. This will help you choose when to open up and eventually overcome the fear of intimacy.

Intimacy is built on trust. You can only get close to someone when you feel safe opening up to them, and you can only feel safe with trust. Reestablishing intimacy in your relationship is about finding a way to trust in the motives of the other person-- trusting that the other person selflessly wants to be near you and take care of you, not hurt you, nag you and control you.

Find out what your partner needs to feel appreciated, and give it to them. Different things make us feel appreciated, and without asking, what we offer as signs of appreciation, however well-intended, may be off the mark. Being able to give your partner what makes them feel good generates lots of good will.

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